A Friend Like Julie Andrews

Dear Daughter -

As a yet tiny baby, you have your entire childhood ahead of you. You are too small to imagine how wonderful it will be. I am too finite to predict what will fill the next decade. But if I could wish any one thing for you, I would choose friendship. With God. With me. With the men in your family. With wonderful girls spending days together full of creativity, imagination, and big dreams. This was the incredible gift given to me. Friendship - a skill, a choice, an exchange, a study... a blessing.

If your choice of music is as influenced by me as mine was by my parents (thank you, Daddy, I will always love the Beach Boys), you may find yourself drawn to Pop Country and classic musicals. Allow me, then, to illustrate one of friendship's essential lessons by contrasting the very entertaining Miranda Lambert and the absolutely lovely Julie Andrews. No, I don't know either of these ladies personally. I think I would probably like both of them. For now, I simply rely on what their songs have to teach us, not their personal opinions. 

First, just because it's fun, take a moment to watch Miranda's take on "friendship" in "Only Prettier". Now, compare that to Julie Andrews' fantastic old duet with Carol Burnett.

I feel like I could just leave it there and you'd know what I mean. But just to be on the safe side, I will explain that I wouldn't recommend an "only prettier" attitude to get you through life. Miranda (who I'm sure is creating a satire and would never really behave this badly herself ...) suggests that we should put aside our differences and find a way to be friends; sounds good! But then she sneaks in the mindset that is so often our downfall - "We can be friends, even if we are so different, because I will pretend to find common ground with you while really just reassuring myself that I'm better than you." That level of insecurity, sadly, is not confined to the imaginary world of music videos. Any time you meet a smart, pretty, or talented girl, you will face the temptation to decide that she's not worth being friends with because her presence might make you feel less smart, less pretty, or less talented. Don't go there!!! Every one, every single girl God ever made, has her own smarts, beauty, and talents with which to bless the world. The magic happens when she becomes a friend who thinks more about others than herself. It's like a cage being opened - once she's not focused on herself, God gets to do all that He wants through her. And in the meantime, not being so mesmerized or crestfallen by how she perceives herself, she is FREE to see and enhance the special-ness of those around her. No secret agendas. Not believing her own insecurities or magnified self-importance. Free. 

Take a look at friendships that really make it, that enrich both lives and last even when the two can't be together. Undoubtedly you will find this Julie Andrews' like determination to make each other feel valued and admired for being who they are. "You're so London", admires Carol Burnett. But as is common with women, she is praising Julie at her own expense, as if because of how wonderful Julie is, Carol must not be very special because she really isn't like Julie. Oh daughter, don't do this to yourself. And don't let your friends do it to themselves, either. Fortunately, Julie won't allow it. The song becomes a challenge for each one to praise the other more, a battle of compliments. Of course, as each compliments the other, she puts herself down a little, too. Which inspires another compliment from the opposition. This mixture of praise and self-deprecation finally ends with perfect balance - why not let's use our friendship to make each other better and be the perfect team? 

Thank you, Julie. I hope my daughter tries it your way. And I hope she can pass that on to every other girl she meets. To every friend she makes. Because, in fact, daughter - it is "for freedom Christ has set us free." 

Be free. Make friends. Be like Julie...

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