Raising adults

We are not raising babies.

Nor is it our goal to create children, is it?

Moms are given the task of providing the world with people who are ready to take on its challenges, who will behave with compassion and decency, and never give up.

We have, in our homes, the adults of tomorrow.

The old show Little Rascals was filled with mothers who admonished their sons to eat their oatmeal so that they could grow up and be President.

Now I don't particularly care if my Little Man wants to become POTUS.

Totally up to him.

Although I do give him his Herbalife kid's shake so that he can get his nutrients and feel healthy.

But I am responsible to give him the tools to at least be a gentleman.

So when we are getting out of the car and need to get the groceries inside, I will encourage any interest he shows in helping me unload since daddy is at work and can't help right now...

And if at 18 months old he can get excited about being able to carry mustard and a loaf of bread, then maybe as a young man he will be carrying all of our groceries without being told.

We want him to be a man's man.

Now that might mean that he loves contact sports and hunting, or it might mean that he plays in an orchestra and likes cooking.

But as a man, he will take responsibility for himself in this world, show responsible and kind leadership to the family God may give him, and work with excellence no matter what his profession.

How will he learn all of that if, in my mind, my only job is to just get a toddler to obey.

When set in light of the adult responsibilities he will be given, then teaching him to submit to reasonable authority, control his emotions, and being kind to others are not just optional lessons of the day.

They are what every adult must know, so Little Man must learn them, too.

Generations

I remember the first time that I heard the phrase "dysfunctional family".

I was in highschool and a friend was saying that his family was making some important decisions 

about their business so that they could have more time together...

The word scared me.

But I knew that my family was "healthy", and didn't give it much more thought.

Perhaps you didn't have that comfort growing up. I still firmly believe you can choose to break the cycle.

As a mother, now, I have been considering the difference between the two labels.

My conclusion-

I think the most significant distinction between dysfunctional and healthy families can be stated in one word:

Repentance.

Repentance is the act of acknowledging wrong, putting off, and putting on.

One has to be willing to admit that she has done something selfish, hurtful, prideful, etc...

Basically, she has to take responsibility for her behavior.

Then there is the choice to stop saying those mean things, or demanding unrealistic achievements, etc.

Finally, she must start actually saying kind things,
working together to set goals that her child wants to pursue...

But it won't be perfect.

That cycle will be repeated over and over again.

Not every word spoken in my home was always kind, especially words coming from my own mouth.

My parents and I didn't always agree.

They aren't perfect people.

But healthy families don't need perfect people.

They need repentant people.

I think this may be one of the most comforting things that I can know.

What freedom to be released from the pressure we tend to create, the idea that

"I put my kid in therapy"

because I wasn't a perfect mother.

Please!

No one is perfect, and your little ones don't need you to be!

They need to have the process of dealing with imperfection modeled for them by you,

their imperfect mother.

That is why now, twenty-seven years later, I am still grateful to have my parents over to play with Little Man.

Because they weren't perfect. And they didn't expect me to be, either.

They still aren't, and don't...

But we each make a decision every day to seek forgiveness, put off, and put on.

And now a new generation gets to grow up in our imperfect, healthy family.

Join the movement of moms. 

Follow me on Instagram @happyfitnessmama, document your family moments, and tag them #movementofmoms so that we can connect healthily happenin' families!
Oh - and if you like this post, then go ahead and click on of the icons below to share it!

Disclaimer - Research shows that those people having a Formula 1 meal replacement shake twice daily as part of a healthy eating and exercise plan can reasonably expect to lose 1/2 to 1 lb a week. And the average annual compensation provided by Herbalife to its distributors at the Supervisor position with a downline is approximately $5,800. I have chosen to consistently follow my Herbalife nutrition plan and work hard at running my business, which is the reason for my personal results.

The Laundry Room

Sunday afternoon, it's normally naptime...

Today, Little Man was the only one at our house getting a nap.

Hubs was dutifully splitting wood, which he calls fun.

Please note, if I was from the city, I'd say "chopping" wood.
 But I'm from a small town in the mountains,

so I know it's called "splitting". 

Yesterday was incredibly productive, which gave me that "high" that typically accompanies hard work,

so today, after a Formula 1 shake and Herbalife tea, I decided to clean the laundry room.

It was, in fact, the dirtiest room in our house.

It was the room where extra things were thrown,

the floor never got swept,

the cleaning supplies are stored, 

and the door is always closed!

Oddly enough, this very dirty room is the center of all things "clean".

 Why would I clean our clothes in this room and never bother to mop the floor?

It doesn't make sense, so I cleaned it. I even scrubbed the floor. 

While I cleaned, I was inspired, which is why I write to you tonight.

Moms are like laundry rooms.

We do alot, serve many purposes, 

and typically have the job of making our families clean and presentable.

And we often don't take care of ourselves the way we do our families.

I know that it's important to serve Little Man his veggies, but I often choose to go without.

I read to him every day and limit screen time, but will choose TV over a book without thinking twice.

I take him to play outside, but use my own free time to stay indoors instead of building up my Vitamin D...

I'm letting myself become a dirty laundry room.

And eventually, if I don't stop and clean up, I will be too dirty to be able to keep others clean.

Now please don't think I'm being melodramatic.

I'm not promoting crazy regimens of self-denial,

nor guilt ridden decisions to "be a good mom" based on unrealistic expectations.

I'm just making an observation. 

Laundry rooms, left unattended, become a paradoxical space of clean and dirty.

It seems to me that moms who don't make decisions to take good care of ourselves will soon have to question whether we are really doing our best to take care of our families...

That's all, just an observation.
And perhaps a challenge: try cleaning your laundry room this week...

Join the movement of moms.

Follow me on Instagram @happyfitnessmama, document your clean (or getting there) laundry room, and tag it #movementofmoms so that we can have another reason to smile!
Oh - and if you like this post, then go ahead and click on of the icons below to share it!

Disclaimer - Research shows that those people having a Formula 1 meal replacement shake twice daily as part of a healthy eating and exercise plan can reasonably expect to lose 1/2 to 1 lb a week. And the average annual compensation provided by Herbalife to its distributors at the Supervisor position with a downline is approximately $5,800. I have chosen to consistently follow my Herbalife nutrition plan and work hard at running my business, which is the reason for my personal results.

Dinnertime

This week, Little Man had his first "big boy" dinner experience at the table with us.

No booster seat for him, he would have been insulted. 

He's trying to say, "Seat", but it comes out as something a little different...

You can imagine...

Anyway - 

While he did munch on a few bites of kale while I was cooking, his dinner was a simple, 

no fuss peanut butter and jelly.

We, however, enjoyed a vegetarian dinner from a recipe

 I have been tweaking for weeks to perfect for our tastes 

(thank you to The Science of Skinny for inspiration).

If you know my Hubs, then you know that "dinner" and "vegetarian" were never combined in his vocabulary for the first 32 years of his life.

In fact, when we were dating, I posed the question, "Do you like seafood?"

His response? 

"Seafood's great, sure, as long as it's not a substitute for meat!"

And now, I have his stamp of approval on a truly vegetarian meal.

So I figured that for today's post I would offer the recipe, in case any similarly carnivorous husbands have resisted the occasional meat free dinner.

And if they are terribly hesitant, then you can go right ahead and add a little bit of sausage. That's what we did the first 5 times I made it...

Simple:

• 1 large bunch kale, rinsed and coarsely chopped
• 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes, 1/4 tsp garlic powder, 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
• 3 cups vegetable broth
• 1 cup dry quinoa
• 1 can small white beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 Herbalife multivitamin, without which are meals are never complete

Instructions:

• Combine the quinoa and 2 cups of broth in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over high heat, cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer for 12 minutes or until all water is absorbed

Meanwhile

• Saute the red pepper flakes, garlic and salt in the coconut oil for about 1 minute on medium heat
• Add the kale, one handful at a time, and stir until the oil looks absorbed (is that the correct spelling, I'm never sure?!)
• Add 1 cup of vegetable broth, stir, and cover. Cook on medium heat for 10 min to allow kale to soften.
• Remove lid, add beans and allow them to heat. 
• Stir in the quinoa, mix thoroughly, and ...
• Enjoy!

We had whole wheat bread as our side, cornbread is also yummy. And I'm a huge fan of real butter...

Join the movement of moms, we want to be fit and still eat butter!

Follow me on Instagram @happyfitnessmama, document your own dinnertime moments, and tag them #movementofmoms so that we can find new recipes!
Oh - and if you like this post, then go ahead and click on of the icons below to share it!

Disclaimer - Research shows that those people having a Formula 1 meal replacement shake twice daily as part of a healthy eating and exercise plan can reasonably expect to lose 1/2 to 1 lb a week. And the average annual compensation provided by Herbalife to its distributors at the Supervisor position with a downline is approximately $5,800. I have chosen to consistently follow my Herbalife nutrition plan and work hard at running my business, which is the reason for my personal results.

It's just the grocery store...

It used to be my favorite activity...

Which makes me kinda weird, I know, but I loved the grocery store!

I think I loved the "shopping around" part the most.

Finding a perfect deal, going to three different stores because each one had it's own specials...

Taking time to read labels and get creative...

And oh, how I loved Trader Joe's when I lived in Southern California and could walk the quarter mile to the world's best grocery store!

Alas...

Now, I live tucked away in the mountains, a 35 minute drive from Trader Joe's, and I have a toddler.

Goodbye, amazing grocery shopping days.

Hello, blitz runs for milk and the easiest veggies.

At least we're getting veggies, right?

My theory is that I can make Little Man believe that whole grain, 100% natural Fig Newtons are really cookies until he starts going to school and finds out that there is such a magical food as Oreos, 

and that you can actually eat them at lunchtime...

Until then, whole grain and figs, kiddo.

Anyway, we usually make it halfway through shopping before I have to pull a snack out of the purse to distract him from the millions of items within reach which he is not in fact allowed to touch.

I never actually go to the store without my Herbalife tea to simply fortify me for what used to be one of life's simplest and yet most charming activities...

If I'm quick we make it to the produce section before he starts the pleas to get down...

And I don't think I've made it out of the store yet without getting him out of the cart in the checkout line

 so that he will stay quiet just those last urgent moments when money is changing hands 

and I need to try to concentrate...

Then comes his favorite part, the whole reason he thinks we go to the grocery store at all. 

Little Man pushes the cart back to the car. 

Mommy is just there to steer and provide power (sounds an awful lot like Mommy is pushing, right? I know, confusing... But rest assured, Little Man is pushing. Mommy is just an accessory...)

And then, the sigh of relief. We are in the car. Big smiles. Almost home. 

Only one store today,

but instead of getting nostalgic for my grocery shopping trips of yore, I will rejoice-

We made it all the way through one store today!

Join the movement of moms, where we are proud of the little things!

Follow me on Instagram @happyfitnessmama, document your own grocery victories, and tag them #movementofmoms so that we can have the courage to go back next week for more milk!

Disclaimer - Research shows that those people having a Formula 1 meal replacement shake twice daily as part of a healthy eating and exercise plan can reasonably expect to lose 1/2 to 1 lb a week. And the average annual compensation provided by Herbalife to its distributors at the Supervisor position with a downline is approximately $5,800. I have chosen to consistently follow my Herbalife nutrition plan and work hard at running my business, which is the reason for my personal results.

Action heals

You're a mom (right?), 

So you know that sometimes, we get the blues.

I'm not going to dwell on the multitude of triggers, but I am going to make a tough diagnosis.

Ultimately, we are self-centered creatures.

Our daily actions may suggest that we really live for others,

but bottom line, we are tempted to be "about me" as much as any other human on this planet.

Which is why having lots to do gets us "down".

But I don't want this to be a further "downer" for you by explaining how mommies are just as selfish as anyone else... Although I may have already done that. Sorry!

Really, I'm only commenting because today was one of those days. Actually, just one of those afternoons.

This morning was wonderful, productive even.

And then something happened and I felt overwhelmed, maybe insignificant, full of doubts.

For a few minutes, I made the selfish decision to give up and be ruled by those emotions.

I'm telling you, that is a slippery slope into a very dark hole.

Today, I caught the life rope and held on, even though it came in a strange form.

Work!

Now I'm not going to psychologize this and say that doing that work actually gave me power when I felt overwhelmed, gave me a sense of significance when I felt otherwise, or gave me answers for my doubts.

Those are probably accurate observations, but they are band-aids.

What was really going on?

I wanted everything to go my way, and as soon as one thing didn't, I started believing lies.

What saved me?

Truth!

I was made to be a wonderful helper to my husband, a faithful mommy to Little Man, and an encourager to others - and made to do all things with excellence to the glory of God.

Working was a choice to believe the truth.

As you can see from the photo, today's "work" did not entail a very tidy office...

Regardless of the messy space, choosing (by God's grace) to put my mind in the right place 

actually provided wonderful relief to my discouraged heart.

And believe me, when I was done, I thoroughly enjoyed sitting down for a blissfully quiet ten minutes while Little Man finished his nap and I took some well earned time to read

 a favorite magazine and drink my afternoon Formula 1 shake. 

A treat is so much better when it is being used to congratulate, not ignore the real problem. Don't you agree?

Join the movement of moms.

Follow me on Instagram @happyfitnessmama, document your moments work or reward, and tag them #movementofmoms so that we can be inspired!

Disclaimer - Research shows that those people having a Formula 1 meal replacement shake twice daily as part of a healthy eating and exercise plan can reasonably expect to lose 1/2 to 1 lb a week. And the average annual compensation provided by Herbalife to its distributors at the Supervisor position with a downline is approximately $5,800. I have chosen to consistently follow my Herbalife nutrition plan and work hard at running my business, which is the reason for my personal results.

A cliché

"Life's a marathon, not a sprint."

It's a quote we've all heard, and it can help put things in perspective, 

whether it's an overused cliché or not...

On tonight's amazing leadership training call (yup, Monday night again!),

we had the amazing opportunity to hear about a man who trained for what's called the Leadville 100.

This 104 mile mountain bike race is for those serious minded athletes who are willing to train for months, arrive a week early to acclimate to the high altitude (12,000 feet if I remember correctly!), 

be completely self-disciplined for the 12 hrs it will take to ride (more or less),

and who believe in their training enough to never quit, even when the race is toughest.

This man is 60 and one of my new heroes.

I admit that I hear about an experience like that and the crazy part of me gets excited, as in,
"Maybe some day I will get to be that intense" kind of excited.

I may never in fact do it, and if I do, it won't be for another 20 years because I can't imagine making the time to train when there are kiddos with Saturday soccer games and all manner of activities....

But don't you ever like to imagine doing something that intense and what the feeling of victory would be?

When I was a freshman in college, I got to experience my own version of athletic accomplishment when I ran a full marathon a week before the school year ended. 

Running in the Frederick Marathon was actually an incredibly random decision. I enjoyed running about 3 miles at a time, and then one day thought, "I should run in an actual event."

Apparently I missed the fact that a 5k would qualify as a real event, so I went straight for the marathon.

Looking back, I have only one regret.

I didn't give 100% commitment to the training. Sure, I did a long run every Saturday,

 and I logged some miles.

But I knew that I wasn't giving my whole self to the process,

 and I wish I could have experienced a marathon at my best...

Even so, it was amazing. I was in Maryland, and at the 7am start time I knew that my dad would be awake in California preparing for his Sunday sermon. I knew he would be praying for me.

My brother was waiting at mile marker 25 for me, one of the best sights of my life! 

He jumped up, started running with me, and gave me a new goal for the finish, a couple ahead of me to beat.

By mile 26, I had to sprint the last 2 tenths of a mile in order to finish in front of them, and because he believed in me, I did it. 

I got to call my parents right after finishing, just before they left for church.

One of the most emotional calls I ever made...

Still, there's this nagging question of how much more amazing it could have been had I been in peak shape... 

So one day I will probably commit again, this time with a more mature understanding of the journey, 

not just the goal in mind. 

And I will have Herbalife24, so I know I will have the best nutrition possible... 

But most of us are not really elite athletes, 

and at this stage in my life I'm proud of myself for doing a 20 minute workout.

So how do we as moms get encouraged by a 60 year old man competing in an impossible seeming race?

Well, isn't what we do every day seemingly impossible?

For starters, we grew a human being inside of us, 

and crazier still, got it out of us...

Then, every morning, we make the decision to be about other little people, instead of just ourselves.

And there is a finish line, so to speak, because one day those kiddos will leave. 

I want to know that when Little Man goes out to face the world on his own,

I won't be regretting my lack of commitment to the journey.

This is both training and the event, really.

As a mom, you kind of get thrown into it all at once. You can't exactly practice having a baby until it comes...

So I want to know that every day I'm making decisions to make this a good race.

Am I giving my soul, mind, and body good nutrition?

Am I checking my "splits" to make sure that I'm on track with the goals I set?

Am I encouraging other "runners" along the way, and accepting encouragement?
Am I a woman of my word, sticking with the commitments I've made?

You are each part of my race,
 and I hope that we can all in turn be a part of each other's marathons as moms...

Join the movement of moms.

Follow me on Instagram @happyfitnessmama, document your own "racing" moments, and tag them #movementofmoms so that we can remember we aren't alone in this race!

Disclaimer - Research shows that those people having a Formula 1 meal replacement shake twice daily as part of a healthy eating and exercise plan can reasonably expect to lose 1/2 to 1 lb a week. And the average annual compensation provided by Herbalife to its distributors at the Supervisor position with a downline is approximately $5,800. I have chosen to consistently follow my Herbalife nutrition plan and work hard at running my business, which is the reason for my personal results.