Not a Pinterest Life, part 2

When we left off earlier this week, you had been made privy to some of Little Man's and my misadventures in housekeeping and exercise. We had fumbled our way through the morning, determined to stay "amused", when LM pooped during the last few minutes of my workout. I would change it as soon as I finished stretching, right? But then the phone rang. Now, let's continue:

It’s an Herbalife client, and her cellphone isn’t getting great reception, but I’m certain I hear her say that her assistant, Dave*, wants a nutrition program as well. I proceed to ask if I can talk with Dave. She tells me that he’s eating lunch but she has all the info. As we go through the questions, I’m thinking, “This guy is awfully bold getting his boss to order his nutrition program. And she sure seems to be close to him, knowing his weight and everything…” We finally get to the end, after establishing that I am shipping his products to her house, and I check his last name. It’s her last name. He’s her HUSBAND, not her assistant! And I get the idiot mom/health coach of the day award. But hey, I made a neat connection in the end on that embarrassing phone call, so being an Herbalife coach offers the consolation that at least I got to talk to another grown up and help somebody other than a two year old.

Whew, off the phone and done with the workout.  What now? Oh yes, diaper change. Well, it’s a loaded one. And as I reach for a wipe, Little Man decides to reach down and explore. Before my mom reflexes can catch up, his hand is in the poop.

“Buddy, wait!” Nope, I am too late. His hand has smeared his leg. One moment’s delay, and now that finger is in his mouth. Oh dear. I’m just hoping that most of the poop got on his leg and didn’t make it to his mouth. I finish the diaper and leg cleaning, and now run to the bathroom myself. You mothers know that of course LM came with me. This time, though, he wanted to really know what was going on…

Things you never imagine yourself saying out loud. “No, kiddo, you can’t pull at my legs to watch me go poo-poos.”

Okay, lunchtime! In the highchair, WAIT! I haven’t washed his poopy hand!!! Run to the sink. It's still full of last night’s dirty dishes, and pots from making lentils with quinoa for my week’s lunches. (It tastes better than it sounds, especially with some feta.) Anyway, I reach for the Wet Ones and solve his yucky hand problem. I chug my recovery drink (yes, it’s also Herbalife), while absent-mindedly overheating his Mac’n’Cheese, which he therefore refuses. While easing his hunger with some fruit, he maneuvers himself so that his buns are still in the seat but his legs are up on his highchair’s tray.

“There,” he sighs, as if he’s finally found his groove. And now that naptime is only minutes away, maybe I have, too. Until he wakes up…

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Disclaimer - Research shows that those people having a Formula 1 meal replacement shake twice daily as part of a healthy eating and exercise plan can reasonably expect to lose 1/2 to 1 lb a week. And the average annual compensation provided by Herbalife to its distributors at the Supervisor position with a downline is approximately $5,800. I have chosen to consistently follow my Herbalife nutrition plan and work hard at running my business, which is the reason for my personal results.

*Name changed for privacy